It is difficult to
adequately articulate the overwhelming mix of emotions I felt as I listened to
my mother unveil a special party she had put together, on our recent church
mission trip to Philadelphia, to honor my grandmother. As my best friend and confidant, my
mother and I share everything together, but this is one piece of information
she withheld from me. She did it
so that I could truly enjoy the moment, instead of helping her come up with an
entire devotion and theme centered around this party, which I normally assist
with while on these trips. To say
I was caught off guard would be an understatement, but I am so glad she did
because I had the opportunity to genuinely be present in the moment, surrounded
by some of the youth whom I share a very special bond. The avid party planner, my mother truly
outdid herself with this Tom’s Style Your Sole (which she changed to Soul) Party.
And what made this party so
special and unique was not the extravagant decorations or the fancy h'orderves, yet it was the thought and heart poured
into every ounce of this event so that it accurately balanced celebrating
Mawmaw B’s life, sharing a piece of my mother’s heart and teaching the youth of
the next generation what it means to be enfolded in God’s love. As I share how the event unfolded, you
will be able to see that this party truly embodied my grandmother’s spirit and
the Holy Spirit.
While I am generally up in front of the group
helping my mom lead the nightly devotions, I, for once, was seated with the
group preparing to watch a video on Work To Ride, one of the organizations we
were working with that week. Due
to technical difficulties with the television, we had to rearrange the session
that night, which allowed me to stay seated in my current location a little
while longer. Boy, am I glad that
TV wasn’t working because I was right where I needed to be in that moment. I am a firm believer that this wasn’t a
coincidence yet a surprise by God, which he had so masterfully crafted. As mom began to share the journey we
had been through the past nine months, I needed those youth surrounding me as I
began to cry. I needed Megan’s
hugs, Maggie’s back rub and Abbey, who allowed me to weep on her shoulder.
Mom spoke to the initial incident that altered our
journey and led us down a new and unexpected path. My grandmother fell the second week of November and
shattered her hip replacement. The
week before the accident, my mom had been to Exploration 2011 in St. Louis with
several members of the youth group.
That time away allowed her to nurture young people who are growing in
their faith and being called to the ministry. It also provided her with some peace and quite before the
storm she unexpectedly faced the following week. Looking back, she realized that God was likely preparing her
for this long road ahead during this weekend conference in St. Louis. As mom spoke, I vividly replayed the
phone call I received the night she fell.
That night I felt so helpless because I was in Chapel Hill, far removed
from the situation, and more importantly, too far from Mawmaw B.
Mom briefly spoke of the difficulties we faced as
Mawmaw went through serious surgery to repair her fractured hip and the scary
moments we faced as she recovered from surgery. She then fast forward to Christmas Eve, the night my
grandmother contracted Clostridium difficile (C Diff) and
quickly took a turn for the worse.
After contracting a bacterium that attacks the colon and causes severe
diarrhea, my grandmother became immobilized and weak. She progressively became weaker by the minute and our family
was afraid to leave her side.
Before all of
this transpired, my mom and I already had a pre-mission trip weekend planned in
Philadelphia. However, we were
hesitant to take the trip because we were fearful she might die while we were
gone. But after much prodding by
friends and family, we decided to make the journey to Philadelphia. We had a wonderful long-weekend
exploring our worksites and visiting the beach in Atlantic City. We were even able to capture a photo of
my hands in the shape of a heart over the Atlantic Ocean, which we later used
for material to publicize for the trip.
It was a wonderful weekend that incorporated our favorite things: time
together, service opportunities, the beach, planning for a week with a
wonderful group of youth and love.
Well, we needed that week to prepare us for the following weekend.
As mom continued
to talk, my mind wandered back to that phone call I received the next Saturday
afternoon telling me that Mawmaw had been rushed to the hospital and that she
didn’t have long. I recounted the paralyzation I felt in that
moment but then quickly turned my fears into action and began to pray. Looking back, I realize I now was
experiencing what mom did in November.
The trip in January was just what I needed because it prepared me to
handle the days I would face in the wake of my grandmother’s death.
From the time
Mawmaw came to live with us until the moment she left this Earth, our church
family, in particular the youth, loved and supported us. During our time of anguish, it was our
faith and the love of the First Methodist congregation that sustained us. It was this combination that we relied
on so heavily during Mawmaw’s illness and death that inspired mom’s party.
Mawmaw left mom
some money for her to use after she was gone that would inspire and help
others. Mom pondered and fretted
over this task for more than four months.
She didn’t want to just do something traditional or expected. Sure, she had some organizations in our
community that were very near to her heart, but she generally gives to them, so
she sought something more. After
reading Toms founder Blake Mycoskie’s book and cleaning out my grandmother’s
shoes, mom had the perfect idea that was very fitting and representative of
what she wanted to do with this fund.
Mom wanted to be able to give back to the group that had been there for
her the most during this recent journey, the youth group. She also found it ironic that she would
have the opportunity to throw this party in the city known for its brotherly
love, the city she and I were in the week before Mawmaw’s death. Mom also chose to hold the party the
night we returned from Atlantic City, the place I took a picture of my hands in
the shape of a heart over the Atlantic Ocean. Even more appropriate was the fact that this event fell on
the eve of the sixth month anniversary of Mawmaw’s death. All the stars aligned and the pieces
fell into place. So, mom threw a
party. We each were given a pair
of white canvas Toms to style, however we saw fit, as long as it was
representative of our “soul.”
What made this
moment even more magical was when mom announced that she was attempting to
arrange with the Toms corporation that the 45 shoes she purchased for our
group, be donated to the children at the Neighborhood Center in Camden, New
Jersey (one of the agencies we worked during our trip) as part of the
one-for-one promise of the company.
What a perfect combination!!
It was most important
to my mom that my grandmother’s legacy be honored in this endeavor because she
had a great influence on my mother’s journey into the ministry. Mawmaw B had an unwavering faith, one
that was quietly modeled to all through her actions. Mawmaw’s secret was meeting God in the morning each
and every day so his presence lingered with her throughout the day. Mawmaw allowed her God to live on a
daily basis with her. Her faith
was not flashy but full. In all
she did, Mawmaw made you feel like no one else could. She always had time and love to give. Not just to me but to my friends, our
immediate family, her extended family, her neighbors, the shut-ins and the
youth of First United Methodist.
She knew how to care for people and to make each person feel valued.
I believe that for
all of us who had the opportunity to know her or to even hear her story, our
greatest inheritance will be a sustaining faith. We have and will survive this loss by the grace of God. During the Soul Party we were able to
share stories to keep her memory alive and we will now live out loud the legacy
she has given to us, through our Toms shoes, so that at the end of our time on
Earth, God can say to us, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
By this gift mom
provided to each of us, I know Mawmaw B and God are looking down saying to her,
“Well done, good and faithful servant.”
What a blessing it is for me to have these two women in my life. They shaped me into the woman I am
today. They are the epitome of
strong, faithful servants of God who share His love through their actions and
service.
I want to close by sharing lyrics from the song
Constant by Francesca Battistelli, which just happened to be playing on Pandora as I
was typing this reflection, which I think speaks to what both my grandmother
and mother are in my life.
You're my
constant in every moment
Constant
You have never
left my side
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