Toughness

I am currently reading a book with the same title Toughness by Jay Bilas. To some of you it may seem strange that I am reading anything born from the pen of a Duke graduate; however, Catherine looked forward to Jay Bilas speaking in her graduate classes at Carolina, so clearly he has seen the light.


As I began reading, it dawned on me that he was raised by parents very similar to mine. He said he gets his toughness from his parents and that toughness has no relationship to physicality, but rather toughness is the ability to bend or flex without breaking.

In one of the first chapters, Bilas refers to being tested in school like everyone else, but he said "my mother never told me my scores, only that I did well." Neither did my mother. Getting my SAT scores back in the mail was the first standardized test I was privy to the results. Being announced a Marshal at the end of my Junior year was the first clue I had about class rank.
What have we done to our kids? A disservice in my opinion. We have placed limits and made excuses when our children don't do well, and inflated their egos when they achieve. We have done a poor job of teaching them perspective. As parents, we get high and low right along with our teenagers. My mother was a great listener, but she was very even keeled. She went to school one time to meet with a teacher, and of course it was Home Economics! And while she didn't necessarily agree with the teacher, it was unacceptable for me to leave my ugly, crooked, homemade poncho in the locker when I was supposed to wear it!

I am thankful for a solid foundation. As Catherine said in her eulogy, mamaw lived through the Depression, sent a husband to war, had a baby at thirty-eight, took care of her parents, buried a brother that was murdered, two sisters who died of cancer and Alzheimer's, and lost her husband when she was sixty-five (she died at ninety).

I will never be as tough as my parents, but the bar is set high and I'm working on it. I believe each day I learn more. Thanks to my mom, I to push myself and get out of my comfort zone. I feel prepared for any situation I encounter. You can be a nice person and still display "toughness." True toughness is more mental than physical; it's your ability to deal with adversity, and a will from within. As Christians, our toughness should begin and end with the Lord. If He brings us to it, he will bring us through it.