Toughness

I am currently reading a book with the same title Toughness by Jay Bilas. To some of you it may seem strange that I am reading anything born from the pen of a Duke graduate; however, Catherine looked forward to Jay Bilas speaking in her graduate classes at Carolina, so clearly he has seen the light.


As I began reading, it dawned on me that he was raised by parents very similar to mine. He said he gets his toughness from his parents and that toughness has no relationship to physicality, but rather toughness is the ability to bend or flex without breaking.

In one of the first chapters, Bilas refers to being tested in school like everyone else, but he said "my mother never told me my scores, only that I did well." Neither did my mother. Getting my SAT scores back in the mail was the first standardized test I was privy to the results. Being announced a Marshal at the end of my Junior year was the first clue I had about class rank.
What have we done to our kids? A disservice in my opinion. We have placed limits and made excuses when our children don't do well, and inflated their egos when they achieve. We have done a poor job of teaching them perspective. As parents, we get high and low right along with our teenagers. My mother was a great listener, but she was very even keeled. She went to school one time to meet with a teacher, and of course it was Home Economics! And while she didn't necessarily agree with the teacher, it was unacceptable for me to leave my ugly, crooked, homemade poncho in the locker when I was supposed to wear it!

I am thankful for a solid foundation. As Catherine said in her eulogy, mamaw lived through the Depression, sent a husband to war, had a baby at thirty-eight, took care of her parents, buried a brother that was murdered, two sisters who died of cancer and Alzheimer's, and lost her husband when she was sixty-five (she died at ninety).

I will never be as tough as my parents, but the bar is set high and I'm working on it. I believe each day I learn more. Thanks to my mom, I to push myself and get out of my comfort zone. I feel prepared for any situation I encounter. You can be a nice person and still display "toughness." True toughness is more mental than physical; it's your ability to deal with adversity, and a will from within. As Christians, our toughness should begin and end with the Lord. If He brings us to it, he will bring us through it.




 

Sticky Faith

Most of you that know me, know march madness is my favorite time of the year.  I enjoy watching basketball at any level and particularly following a player or team throughout a season.  One of the things I have always believed, no matter what level, is that a player should go out of a program better than he/she came into it.  And while much of that responsibility is given to coaches to make the player better, the individual must have the discipline, desire and strong work ethic to obtain improvement as well.

John Wesley, the founder of Methodism preached often  about going toward perfection.  Vince Lombardi, a great football coach, once said "perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence along the way."  Once again, while others may support and encourage you on this path to perfection, ultimately you have to make it happen.

When we think about @sticky faith, I believe the same principles hold true in spirituality as athletics.  I firmly believe after significant milestones such as baptism, receiving Bibles, confirmation, graduation, that a Christian should leave that program with a greater faith foundation than when they came in.  And while the church can guide this development and parents can and should  nurture a child, the responsibility for increasing in wisdom and love is on the student.  A disciplined prayer life, faithful participation, cheerful giving, sacrificial service and  living out loud in a way that witnesses to your faith is mandatory.  It is not optional regardless how many excuses you might offer to God.  If you want a faith that sticks beyond any program, you must be willing to practice.  The season of lent is about spiritual discipline.  March madness is about discipline. My favorite definition of discipline is "doing what you don't want to do now, so you can do what you want to do later. ". You have to work at your basketball skills or your spiritual tools now, so later they will be solid fundamentally.

So enjoy tournament time and look for those athletes who have finally achieved their one shining moment.  In addition, pay attention everyone.    Are you leaving this program, this worship, this place, this community, more spirit-filled than when you came in?  Do you practice your vows daily?  Do you seek perfection, in order to experience excellence? Are you waiting on someone else to make faith happen or will you work at it yourself.  It's not rocket science.  You know what you need to do, so just do it!